You met her and now you can’t forget her. But this one is the real deal; she’s not wearing those boots for affect. How do you go about capturing a cowgirl’s heart when she so clearly doesn’t need you? It will take more than ego and flash that’s for sure.
First, remember why you find her so attractive – she’s independent and capable. You’ll need to use a light hand and a soft voice, because with this woman bullying will get you nowhere. Don’t try and dominate her or tell her what she needs to do. The next thing you know you’ll be looking at the tail lights of her pickup. Cowgirls aren’t looking for bosses, if they’re in the market for a partner; they’re looking for an equal. She’ll generally appreciate a helping hand, but let her do it her way and stay out of her way if she asks you to. Trust me she knows what she’s doing.
It’ll help if you are the outdoorsy type and won’t hurt if you’re stronger and taller than she is. But height isn’t an absolute, so if you’re on the shorter side don’t despair- just don’t ask her to wear flats instead of boots. You should know how to cook, make good coffee, build a fire, fix a fence, cool beer in a stream and tell an elk from a mule deer. Being a good shot is always impressive and carpentry (barn building) or plumbing (irrigation systems) are both handy skills. Be sure you don’t brag about your ability, if anything, underestimate it a bit. Let your superior ability come as a pleasant surprise.
You can be assertive but don’t overdo the macho stuff; if you are not an expert rider or don’t know a Brahma from an Angus, admit it. Cowgirls work with horses, so they get daily reminders that they don’t know it all. Oh, and also don’t take life too seriously, try to laugh, especially at yourself – cowgirls are always ready to laugh at themselves and greatly appreciate this quality in others.
It’s important that you have a passion; it doesn’t have to be horses, just something that helps you to understand why she has to go back to the barn at 11 at night in a rainstorm to check on her old gelding or a new foal. If when she comes back you are curious about what she found but busy with whatever interests you, she’ll feel better about you and herself. Above all never say “It’s just a horse, dog, calf, etc.” your bags will be on the porch before you know what happened.
To really clinch the deal make sure she sees that streak of tenderness in you that she tries so hard to hide in herself. Don’t take the easy shot on the young dear, go ahead and bring the orphan calf or stray dog home, bottle feed the fawn with a broken leg whose chances are slim to none, or just call her attention to the sunrise. When she shows her own tender streak or has a bad day, don’t make a big deal of it just put your hand on her shoulder and always back her up the best you can. If you can do all that, then you will more than likely find yourself successful at roping a cowgirl.
Michelle Kuester has a bachelors degree in equine science and over twenty years of experience working with horses. She is passionate about natural horsemanship and helping people gain the best possible relationship with their equine companions. 
